Reasons
by Jemppy
Summary: What if you loss your reason for existing? What would you do? Give up or find something else.....or someone else?


AN: Here is another little drabble. This is actually the prequel to  
"The North Wind" and the first in a little series that I may or may  
not post up here. No offence or anything but it seems that the preference  
seems to be of original female characters falling in love with either  
Jack or Will (mostly Jack) but then again it is Orlando Bloom and   
Johnny Depp. But this could be considered slash, if you squint at it  
sideways but the little series does end up that way, but like I said, it  
may just remain a one-shot.   
  
Disclaimers: The series is privately referred as the "Depp Movie Series"  
As each part is inspired by one of his movies, "The North Wind" was   
"Chocolat" and this part is from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape."  
  
Blah, enough of me rants.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
They say there's a reason for everything. Maybe one day, I'll find   
mine.  
  
I always wondered what I really wanted to do with my life. To fold   
steel in to strips for both decoration and death? To watch from a   
distance the beautiful girl grow into womanhood? Or were there some   
other options? Options that I had never considered before?  
  
Port Royal was a larger town, mainly because, being a port city, it   
was nearer to merchants and stores. Even down by the cobble stone   
alley, where the door to the blacksmith resided, it was busy. Men and   
women pushing their way to and fro, hurrying to get from here to   
there. Steins of liquid clutched in fists, reams of fabrics braced   
over shoulders, each with their own reasons.  
  
Watching from that hidden little window, I could see these people.   
And their reasons. That plump, squat woman was carrying supplies that   
her master had ordered to had a dress made for his elegant (and   
missing London) wife. That man over there, whom was creeping through   
the shadows, he was on his way to the tavern to drink his sorrows   
over another lost dream, away.  
  
Maybe my imagination ran away, maybe those weren't the true reasons   
for their passing my window, but they did have them.   
  
Unlike me.  
  
Each day I'd do the things that I needed to do. Not the things I   
wanted to. Swords made by me were perfect. But there was no feeling   
put into the work. And the ironic thing was that those heartless   
tools that I created had more reason to exist than I did. Swords were   
always needed.   
  
To protect the vulnerable women of the town.   
  
To don the uniforms of the King's proud navy.   
  
To give a sense of power.   
  
To kill.  
  
I'd make these swords by the dozen, while old Brown slept. I'd make   
these swords all the while wishing that I was walking by, beneath my   
secret window, with my very own purpose.  
  
Once, I did have a reason. I had to save Elizabeth. The adventure   
that brought me in contact with a mad pirate, an un-dead crew,   
ancient cursed Aztec treasure, and revelations about my blood and   
father, also gave me a sense of being. It was a straight out mission.   
I knew what I had to do and I did it.   
  
But once the applause died down and the dust settled, the reason that   
had so often eluded me and had generously landed in my lap,   
disappeared again.  
  
Elizabeth was saved, and was once again behind the safe walls of her   
mansion. Where her purpose was.  
  
Barbossa and his crew were dead. That was the end that they chose   
when they lifted that first coin from that chest.  
  
Norrington had his sense of control back firmly in place and was   
serving his purpose by making sure the town was safe.  
  
And Jack? Jack had his Pearl back and was sailing away. I always knew   
what his lot in life was. To be free. To go from port town to port,   
pilfering and plundering, and drinking away. For a while his freedom   
was put on hold while his mission became the search for the Pearl and   
the need for his ship back.  
  
In a way, the Pearl was Jack's reason personified. And all I could   
feel was envy.  
  
I want that.  
  
I want my reason to be something. Someone.  
  
Elizabeth. I once though she was mine. For a while, she was. But like   
the adventure, it was over.  
  
Jack. Maybe he was mine. Maybe I will make him my reason.  
  
At least then I'll have a set mission.  
  
Maybe he has been my reason all along. 


End file.
